Marriage, What’s The Point
Once upon a time, there was a young woman who was dressed in ragged clothes and was forced to serve those more fortunate than her in order to survive. Regardless of how hard the people around her pushed her to toil and slave, she worked diligently while showing concern and kindness to those even less fortunate than her. You could see from her demur that even though she had been poor all of her life, she trusted God would meet her needs.
Many fairy tales have taken this same young woman and painted her not only loving on the inside, but so beautiful on the outside that a prince would overlook her rags and see the real her. A frustrated princely youth that up until she came into his life had never found anyone worthy of his affection.
We know from movies and cartoons how this story ends. She marries the prince and they live happily ever after. However, no matter how hard you try to mold it or force it into following this story line, life can seldom live up to the movies. Love is not so easily packaged and sold.
Over 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. Living together without a legal marriage is now becoming more and more popular. Families throughout the world are collapsing because love in people’s hearts have grown cold. Love that was suppose to flourish and last a grow.
What has happened to the fairy tale life that puts two people together for a lifetime? Why is the dream of a strong relationship impossible to achieve in our present day world?
Genesis 2: 18, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him.’”
In the beginning God created man and woman to help each other. An unbreakable force bound by a marriage that united them through love and intricately weaved them so closely together that their souls became one. Together they would populate the world. Together they would live in the Garden of Eden as a family, enjoying each other and having a loving relationship with God.
God’s desire was for marriage to be a strong force that enabled two people to stand up to opposition by presenting a united front. Two people who would build their lives together with God as the center of their marriage.
In order for God to teach the man and woman He had to test their loyalty to Him. In the center of the garden stood two trees. The fruit of one tree unlocked the secrets of good and evil and the other tree was the tree of eternal life. God forbid them from ever eating from either tree.
The most beautiful creature in all the world was the snake. Satan entered the snake and easily persuaded Eve to eat from the forbidden tree of good and evil. From that moment on everything changed. A world game erupted between good versus evil and man became the player.
No longer was the world perfect, now it was filled with temptations to sin. Every man and woman were given the opportunity to make choices for good or evil. Freewill gave everyone the ability to decide whether or not they would follow God or their own evil hearts.
A Spiritual game took shape enabling an unseen world to influence the minds of men in the great tug-of-war of life. Satan was punished for inciting the man and woman to turn against God and was thrown down to earth. Satan became the god of the earth and his spirit demons infected the minds of men with thoughts of jealousy, pride, selfishness, impatience, and every form of evil.
Jesus tells of Satan’s control over the world. John 14: 30a, “I cannot talk with you much longer, because the ruler of this world is coming.”
God fought back and sent guarding angels to protect His precious world game players by inspiring them with the voice of the Holy Spirit. He sent prophets to teach people how to fight against Satan and sin. He gave us the Laws of Moses and finally He gave us the greatest sacrifice when Jesus died for all mankind’s sin.
When the battle begins in the minds of men our biggest opponent becomes the people who are closest to us. This is the reason why our marriages are under attack by Satan all of the time. For example, Satan takes couples who are suffering from the loss of a child or going through an illness and makes them play the blame game. He uses arguments over petty things like picking up clothes, doing the dishes, watching to much sports or spending to much time on your pleasures apart from your family.
Matthew 10:36 “A man’s worse enemies will be the members of his own family.”
Jesus even goes as far as to say that the world game between good and evil is so great that sometimes the cost means you must give up your entire family in order to win your own game. This happens when the trouble of staying together brings so much evil into your life that you must divorce. You must divorce in order to retain your faith in God.
Luke 14:26, “Whoever comes to me cannot be my disciple unless he loves me more than he loves his father and his mother, his wife and his children, his brothers and his sisters, and himself as well.”
Marriages cannot last unless couples put God first. If you are with someone who does not believe in God it will be impossible to be together. Strong marriages are build by God and love.
Satan uses stress that comes in the form of unhappiness at work. He uses finances when they are so tight that a family can’t pay their bills. He uses a woman’s menstrual cycle when her hormones are out of control. He uses a man’s mid-life crisis to get him to run from his family and have an affair. Marriages end when both refuse to work together to mend the problems with God’s help.
Luke 12: 52&53, “From now on a family of five will be divided, three against two and two against three. Fathers will be against their sons, and sons against their fathers; mothers will be against their daughters, and daughters against their mothers; mothers-in-law will be against their daughters-in-law, and daughters-in-law against their mothers-in-law.”
God uses the Bible to teach us how the family was formed and how family values can protect us from Satan’s destructive powers. He tells us how to love and respect our partners.
Ephesians 5: 25, “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.” Verse 33, “But it also applies to you; every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.”
The game of life resulted from Adam and Eve’s unwillingness to be content in perfection. They wanted to understand the things of God and the only way this could be done was through the temptation to do evil.
Understanding this great complex world game helps us to build strong relationships only with God’s help. God is love! God is able to protect us from evil. God is teaching us through the tests we face in the world so we can gain revelations on how to love unconditionally.
Satan fights against everything that keeps us from understanding what we are doing wrong. He makes us only think of ourselves. He uses worldly values that tells us to take care of ourselves. He conquers us by giving us so many evil thoughts about our spouses that we stop loving.
Matthew 24:12, “Such will be the spread of evil that many people’s love will grow cold.”
God teaches us how to form solid relationships when we allow Him to work in our lives. His guidance helps us not to think of just ourselves. He helps us to put the needs of our partners first. When God is the head, He builds unbreakable marriages.
Ephesians 5: 21-24, “Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body. And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ.”
These verses have value to those who fight to keep their relationships strong. But we must also understand that when you are in a life game our relationships are what teach us the difference between good and bad.
Sometimes we enter into relationships that are built on lust and not love. Sometimes we are deceived by a person who says they love us, but it is only for the purpose of getting what they want. Sometimes God uses wrong relationships to teach us what we really want in the right person we will marry in the future.
Understanding the difference between building a secure and mutually satisfying relationship is realizing our need for God. God builds strong relationships. God protects us from the evil voice of Satan, who wants to destroy love. God is the only way for marriage to survive in a world game.
1 John 4:7&8, “Dear friends, let us love one another because love comes from God. Whoever loves is a child of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.”
The princess looked into the loving eyes of her prince. She melted into his arms of love. Love that was built by God and held together by God. Marriage that is made strong by conquering the difficulties in the world with God’s help so they could live, “Happily Ever After”.
Linda C Dipman author of THE GAME OF LIFE IT’S ALMOST OVER http://outskirtspress.com/gameoflife presents: AND HIS LOVE SHONE DOWN my true life story! It describes all the persecutions I endured. Lovinghandsministry.com
A Closer Look at Divorce Records
After divorces are finalized, the court will keep the official copy of all divorce records. When a divorced person wants to obtain a record, they will need to find out where to go and what is involved in getting a certified copy. The process is not as cumbersome as the actual divorce, and should only take a little time to complete.
Getting re-married can be a wonderful experience for a divorced person, but it might require that individual to obtain their divorce records. States will have different requirements in terms of what documentation they will need before issuing a marriage certificate, so you need to check with the County Clerks Office beforehand.
There are other situations that require a divorce settlement, such as when someone is applying for immigration into the country. Federal or state laws will dictate what is needed during this process, and you will have to obtain divorce records from wherever the divorce took place.
When you want to obtain a divorce record, you should begin by going to the Vital Records Office for the state where the divorce was legalized. Even if you move to another state after your divorce, the former state you lived in will be where the document is kept. You can usually call the office or visit it personally to obtain the necessary applications you will need to fill out beforehand. Applications can vary from state to state based on their own divorce laws, but most likely they will all require some form of payment and proof of identification.
There may be a waiting period before you can receive a copy of your divorce settlement, and the timing will depend on whether the copy is to be certified or uncertified. Most of the time a record of the divorce settlement will need to be certified before it is accepted by another party. Because divorce seems to be a more common occurrence in today’s society, there are several web sites available to help you find divorce records.
Some of the most popular are through a state’s Vital Records web site or Federal records web sites. Most people-finder search engines will have a section that allows you to search for a divorce record. But you should remember these all require a fee, and are not considered a free service to the public.
Divorce records are the conclusion to all divorce settlements taking place in a court of law. When you apply for certain things, such as a marriage certificate or immigration, you may need to obtain your former divorce decree. To be on the safe side of things, it would be prudent to request a copy of your divorce record to keep on file.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our divorce portal at http://divorce.article-mall.com/ for more great tips on divorce records. While you are there don’t forget to claim your free gift.
Marrying Mistakes and Life Beyond Divorce
Marriage is full of habits, both good and bad. Habits feel natural and easy which means they don’t break themselves by accident.
Many people who escape a bad marriage, tend to get involved in the same type of relationships they just escaped from. They marry the same type of person, fall into the same types of problems, and find themselves in another abusive situation.
For those who want to move on to better things, its very possible. The biggest piece is realizing the trap exists. The next is to find help and there are lot of communities, usually founded by men and women who can relate.
Lisa J. Peck, author of “Stop Marrying Mistakes,” found herself in an abusive relationship and sought the help of Growth Climate, a program developed by therapists that teaches how to take control of your life using principals. Peck learned alot in the process of turning her life around and here are some of the most important things she’s learned that she shared during an interview on Inside Romance Success.
The four fundamentals of emotional growth:
1. Understand that every person has his/her own climate or mood.
2. Realize that the mood a person feels and displays will effect how others treat that person.
3. Realize that people effect each other. A person who is surrounded by negative people will suffer more stress and is much more likely to become depressed.
4. Understand each person has inner and outer support systems. The success and positive people support themselves. An easy way to support oneself is to be surrounded by positive people.
Three crucial steps to healing:
1. Mourn the loss of a relationship and acknowledge the pain.
2. Nourish the mind and the body. (It is far to easy to punish or neglect the body when the spirit is not happy but this will only perpetuate the bad feelings.)
3. Evaluate aspirations and passions. Reconnect with the real you. Find the inner child. A great help here is for someone to ask “What did I enjoy doing as a child?” Connecting with old dreams is NOT silly, it’s powerful.
A common problem attached to relationship problems of every level is depression. If a person can get excited with their life and future possibilites, it is much easier to move on.
Steps of depression and how it happens:
1. Self worth struggle - every child is born with a sense of self worth. Humans believe they are valuable as a person until told otherwise.
2. Instinct wrestle - Someone thinks they are not as good as they had thought or hoped.
3. Choice - In the end, each person chooses to believe or to doubt themself.
Self worth comes from being productive. People who get involved in things are able to adjust more easily from broken relationships. The mind can hold multiple thoughts but there is only room for one feeling at a time, therefore by helping another person, the first will be carried away from their own problems. This can be a ton of fun, AND it’s rewarding!
Kids are a real issue for most marriages, divorces, and remarriages. Few people plan to become the ‘evil’ stepmother or father but often the kids involved create their own worst nightmare by being hurtful or standoffish. Lisa J. Peck created the The Ten Commandments of Step-Parenting developed to ease emotional hurts and let the parent be the parent.
Here are the first five:
1. Give the child personal space
2. Be yourself around them
3. Set limits and enforce them
4. Allow outlets for feelings for both children and biological parents
5. Expect ambivalence from the child. They need time.
The proactive strategies outlined by Lisa J. Peck during her interview can smooth the path to a healthy recovery from divorce and open the possibilities of beautiful new positive relationships.
Remember to beware the trap of bad habits, get help, help others, and move on.
Dr. Proactive Randy Gilbert enjoys producing the “Inside Romance Success” show hosted by Kevin Decker, who presents his insightful interview with Lisa J. Peck based upon the techniques from her book.
http://www.insidesuccessradio.com/Guests/Lisa-Peck
Adjusting With Life After Divorce
Life after divorce can take some adjusting, especially if the marriage has lasted several years. It can be difficult trying to grasp a completely different mindset towards someone you once vowed to love and cherish for all eternity.
A divorced person can experience a slew of emotions after the papers are signed, including a feeling of helplessness and despair. When children are involved in divorce settlements, custody and visitation rights become an issue as well. But life does not have to end once you obtain your divorce, and there are many ways to help you cope.
After divorce, it is important to try and get your life back on track as soon as possible. This is especially true when it comes to entering the dating scene again. It can be extremely difficult for a divorced person to overcome the “emotional baggage” attached to divorce settlements. When your spouse wants to end the marriage, you may feel helpless and defeated because the situation is beyond your control.
These feelings can carry over into future relationships you have, making it difficult for you to find love again. It is important to fight the tendency to feel sorry for yourself because your marriage is over. This only leads to you playing the role of a victim, expecting someone else to solve your problems.
Instead, take the bull by the horns and make changes in your life to suit what you want and need. It could be a simple as getting a new haircut or signing up for a membership to your local gym. Whatever the remedy may be, doing things for yourself will help you heal from the stress and emotional strain a divorce can cause.
Other issues that arise after a divorce are the problems children can face when their parents are living in two different places. Child custody laws can make divorce proceedings difficult and lengthy for everyone involved. In the end, the children are left feeling pulled in two directions.
Holidays are the most stressful thing children must adjust to after the custody litigation is resolved. A divorced parent can help their child by making a plan for the holidays and discussing where they will be spending them. Explain that holiday traditions don’t have to change, but will only be different because both parents won’t be present.
Listening to your child’s fears and frustrations about the custody and visitation settlement can help them adjust to living in two places. Many children miss the parent they are not visiting, so allow them to maintain contact during their stay. Helping your child adjust will vary depending on their age, but helping them maintain a sense of normalcy in a difficult situation will help make your relationship with your child stronger.
After divorce, property settlements can be a lengthy and frustrating process to finalize. This is especially true when a couple was married for an extensive period of time. Properties not only include the home you shared, but it can also include vehicles, the family pet and personal belongings.
One of the most important things in a property division is finding out who gets the home. If you are keeping the property, be sure the deed is signed over in your name so you can take full responsibility for any payments left on the home. If your spouse gets the home, be sure they sign the deed and take full responsibility.
Otherwise, you could be held accountable for payment of the mortgage if they fail to pay the lender. Financial assets can be awarded to a spouse after divorce, but it can vary depending on your lawyers, the length of the marriage and what both parties originally brought into the marriage. Finally, in some instances, a divorced person can continue to stay on their ex-spouse’s health insurance plan for as long as three years.
This is especially true in cases when children are involved and need to stay on one parent’s coverage. Insurance plans will again depend on your divorce settlement and what concessions are made during the proceedings.
Adjusting to life after divorce can seem difficult at first. But with time, the emotional wounds you feel will heal. Giving yourself a chance to cope with the changes you face in life will allow you to find out what is most important to you. Knowing this before you enter a new relationship can prevent you from having a string of meaningless romances.
Discovering what is important to you will also help alleviate the problems children encounter when living with a divorced parent. And even if property settlements add extra strain to a difficult situation, coming to grips with your own emotions will improve your ability to think clearly.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our divorce portal at http://divorce.article-mall.com/ for more great tips on life after divorce. While you are there don’t forget to claim your free gift.
An Overview Of Divorce Papers
When you are beginning the process of divorcing your spouse, you will have to fill out divorce papers. Although this can be a lengthy and time consuming process, your attorney will be able to walk you through it. Divorce papers are necessary when getting a divorce because they will dictate what each party desires as an outcome. These documents can contain information ranging from property division to custody and visitation rights.
Before filling out divorce papers, it is important you sit down with your lawyer and establish clear priorities for yourself. If children are involved in the divorce proceedings, then you will need to learn about the child custody laws for your state. When obtaining divorce papers, you should visit your County Clerk office to get the proper forms because each state will have their own guidelines and requirements for these types of documents.
Once that process is completed, you should list all the assets that will need to be divided and decide what possessions you want. This involves really considering what your priorities are and what is important to you.
If children are involved and you are seeking custody, then this will most likely become a substantial part of the entire settlement. If a prenuptial agreement was signed before the marriage, then assets must be divided according to what was outlined in that document.
Once you have divided up and listed the assets you want, then you will begin the process of filling out divorce papers. Most of these documents have the basic outline, and will vary when you reach the child custody laws. One thing to remember is that any legal action will be dictated by the laws and requirements of the state and county you live in, so having a knowledgeable lawyer is extremely important.
A lawyer will also help you obtain the correct document if your particular jurisdiction has their own variations. The first part of a legal document that will be filed in court is the name and address of the jurisdiction, the names of the parties involved in the case, and a case number for future court reference. These comprise the “captions,” or upper portion of the first page.
There is also a notary clause in legal documents, which is a sworn statement by a notary that the individuals filling out the forms are who they claim to be. When a person signs a notarized document, they must swear in front of witnesses about their identity and provide physical proof.
In some instances, someone other than a lawyer may help you fill out a legal form. If this occurs, there is a new stipulation in the papers that requires non-lawyers to disclose themselves to the court so the legal system will know who was involved in filling out the papers.
Child support laws will dictate what is spelled out in your divorce papers. The Federal government requires every state to supply their own forms regarding child custody laws. It is important that you obtain the correct forms before filing for divorce. Your particular situation will determine what type of custody law you will follow.
In instances where child custody will be a pressing issue throughout the divorce, it could be worth your while to seek counsel from a child support lawyer, since the majority of battles over child custody revolve around income levels of the custodial parents. When considering how to apply for child custody, the divorced parents must come to an agreement on whether or not joint legal custody, joint physical custody or sole custody will be sought. Once the custody litigation is understood, divorce proceedings can continue to the next level.
Divorce papers play a vital role in a couple’s separation. It will list the legal limitations spelled out by federal, state and county laws. These documents will also attest to the wishes of both parties involved that will be worked out in a marital settlement agreement or in a divorce settlement in front of a judge. Having a good family law attorney will make the entire divorce proceeding easier to handle.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our divorce portal at http://divorce.article-mall.com/ for more great tips on divorce papers. While you are there don’t forget to claim your free gift.
Important Answers about Divorce
Though many people hate to admit it, divorce may be the only viable option for a healthy lifestyle. When considering a divorce, there are many other factors that play a role in this life-changing decision. It is best to take some time to research what is involved with a divorce and the effect it can have on your life. We hope to address some of the concerns that you may have about divorce and its detrimental effects.
What is an uncontested divorce?
An uncontested divorce is generally a divorce that the two parties agree on. They work out the specifics of their assets and split them up according to mutual agreements outside of court. With an uncontested divorce, there is no alimony, child support or custody issues.
Once a couple has decided to have an uncontested divorce, they need to put their agreement in writing and present it to their local courthouse. If the court deems that the agreement is fair for both parties, they grant the couple a divorce. An uncontested divorce is also quicker and the couple does not need to wait as long until it becomes final.
How do I file for divorce?
You can file for divorce without alerting your spouse by going to the courthouse and filling out the correct paperwork. If you want to be sure that you do everything correctly, the best thing to do is to hire a lawyer to file the papers for you.
If you are worried about your spouse’s reaction, you can take care of the entire procedure and they will not even know about it until they are served papers. If they have a temper, this might be your best option so you can be away from the house at that time they are served so there will not be any immediate confrontations.
I’ve heard of common-law marriages. Is there such a thing as common-law divorce?
No, there is not such a thing as common law divorce. You cannot be granted a divorce simply by living apart from your spouse for an extended period of time. Most states required, at the very least, a written agreement submitted to the court that states your intention to divorce each other or of your intent to separate from each other.
In most states, common law marriage is a recognized form of marriage. This is not so with divorce, though. If you both agree to a divorce, contact a lawyer or your county courthouse to find out the very least you need to do to be granted a divorce.
My divorce is just a few weeks from being finalized. Is it legal for my spouse to remarry before the it’s officially final?
Technically, yes. It is illegal to be married to more than one person at the same time. Until your divorce is absolutely final, marrying another person would be breaking the bigamy laws of many states. However, this is merely a technicality.
Most courts will not look at your second marriage as an outright disregard for their laws. If your spouse is getting married before your divorce is final, you can pursue legal action against them for breaking the bigamy laws, but chances are it will be a futile effort as these cases are rarely pursued by lawyers or the court system.
My spouse is serving in the Armed Forces. Can I still file for divorce?
It does not matter where your spouse is physically, you can file for a divorce. Whether they are in Iraq, prison, or anywhere else, you can file for legal divorce with the help of an attorney. Certain situations will make some divorce filings are tricky, so it is best to consult with a trusted divorce attorney to make sure everything is done correctly.
Some states have specific laws regarding this type of divorce, but a lawyer in your state will be able to answer all of your specific questions about it. Similarly, your spouse can file for divorce against you no matter where you are.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our divorce portal at http://divorce.article-mall.com/ for more great tips on the common divorce questions and answers. While you are there don’t forget to claim your free gift.
Divorce Law Needs Expert Knowledge
Divorce law can be a convoluted process for everyone involved, especially if the couple seeking a divorce was married for an extensive period of time. Each state and country has their own system and laws in place for divorce proceedings, and the individuals involved have to be aware of every law before reaching an agreement. Finding a lawyer is just the first step in a lengthy and sometimes harrowing experience.
Divorce law involves the process of dissolving a marriage between two people who are are unable live together anymore. Laws will differ depending on the state or country you live in, so it is important to understand your legal limitations before taking any action. After contacting your lawyer, the next step in divorce proceedings is a legal separation.
Because some states don’t recognize this, you may not have the choice available to you. If separation is allowed, one of the spouses is expected to leave the home. Then the courts will issue a separation agreement which will protect all parties involved, including children, ensuring that everyone fulfills their legal responsibilities.
After a separation, divorce law proceeds to the filing of a petition to the county clerk. This is usually called the “Original Petition for Divorce.” The party filing for a divorce, called the “petitioner,” must state in the letter their reasons for filing. This letter will also include the names of both parties involved in the proceedings as well as any children involved.
The petition is then given to the “respondent,” or the other party involved. They have thirty days to seek their own attorney and give their consent to the petition. When children are involved in a divorce settlement, the petition must be recognized by both parties before either one is allowed to request legal orders to assist with child support guidelines.
Divorce law allows the collection of information on both spouses involved. This is called “discovery,” and normally consists of five steps, depending on the state where the case is handled. The first is a disclosure, where both the petitioner and the respondent list what they feel is rightfully theirs. This includes property, child custody rights, and personal assets.
The disclosures are handed out must be evaluated within thirty days. Interrogatories are a list of questions drafted by attorneys to be asked to both parties. These are handed out and must also be answered within thirty days. Some states have limitations on the amount of questions asked by attorneys. Admissions of facts are another part of the “discovery” process.
Either both or one spouse will direct claims to the other party which must be denied or accepted within the allotted time, usually thirty days. Income and personal properties are collected in the next phase, which is referred to as a request for production. The spouse that is served with a request must comply within thirty days.
Because this process involves personal information, it is usually here that divorce proceedings slow down considerably. Finally, depositions are needed to fulfill the “discovery” mechanism. Depositions are sworn testimonies of the opposing party and they usually involve witnesses and are often used in court during the divorce proceedings.
Once all the information is gathered, a mediation or trial is scheduled. Mediations are when both spouses meet with their attorneys to discuss the divorce and attempt to reach a settlement without going to court.
If a settlement can not be arranged during this time, then a trial is set so both parties can argue their case in front of a judge.
Once the judge makes his or her decision, the papers are signed and a divorce is finalized. As with any court proceeding, appeals can be made if one of the parties involved feels the judges ruling was unjust.
When going through the rigors of a divorce settlement, it becomes necessary to fully understand your state’s divorce law. This is especially true when child custody and visitation rights are at stake.
Finding a lawyer you can rely on will help guide you through the legal proceedings and hopefully assist with expediting the entire process. Then the chances of you having a lengthy proceeding that matches many of the celebrity divorces you see in the news decreases.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our divorce portal at http://divorce.article-mall.com/ for more great tips on divorce law. While you are there don’t forget to claim your free gift.
Divorce Lawyers Aren’t A Dime a Dozen
Respectable divorce lawyers will know every infinitesimal detail about the divorce laws in your state. It is extremely important to find an attorney who possesses this knowledge because it will ultimately determine the outcome of your case.
Divorces involve a slew of issues, ranging from who will get the house to who gains custody of any children from the marriage. In a world where finding a suitable lawyer can consist of looking in the yellow pages or reading a billboard, it is no wonder why case after case is drawn out over months at a time.
The first thing to consider with divorce lawyers is where to find a good one for you. There are several reputable places to find divorce lawyers, and many come from professional or personal recommendations. If you and your spouse sought counseling before deciding to proceed with a divorce, the marriage counselor can give you solid recommendations on who to use.
Suggestions for attorneys can also come from a lawyer you already employ for other services, such as taxes or wills. They will have the inside knowledge to inform you which divorce lawyers have a good reputation in court.
Another source of divorce lawyers could be from friends who recently went through a divorce. They will be able to honestly tell you how their experience was and if you should even consult a specific attorney.
It is required to go through an interview process before finding a job, so why not do the same when looking for divorce lawyers? Interviewing several attorneys before making a choice is important because it will allow you to get an overall analysis of who is out there to help your case. Interviews can help you learn the persona an attorney employs when in front of a judge, and it can help you feel at ease when you meet with them alone.
A number of divorces turn out unfavorably because the client did not do the necessary research to see how their attorney fit their needs. Divorce lawyers will also keep you abreast of the new litigation that governs your state, making it easier to appear competent in front of a judge. Finally, interviewing an attorney will allow you to gain the necessary trust you need for your divorce, especially if you are seeking custody and visitation rights for any children involved.
There are other things to consider when choosing divorce lawyers, and that is the issue of fees. Fees are going to vary from one attorney to the next, and you need to be sure it will accommodate your wallet. Choosing a divorce lawyer means deciding if you want someone who works for a large firm or who runs their own office.
You also need to see how they bill you for their service. Some lawyers like to have their fees paid in advance and then will deduct cost when the services are not used. Other attorneys may employ a pay-as-you-go policy.
Lawyers who use the services of paralegals and office aids may cost more than other lawyers who do all the work by themselves. Finding out how long an attorney has practiced can determine how much he or she will charge. Once you have decided upon a fee, be sure that all the requisite papers are signed and witnessed so you won’t be held accountable for extra charges.
When the unfortunate situation arises and you have to search for divorce lawyers, be sure to proceed with caution before making a final choice. Divorce lawyers can specialize in a variety of areas, so you need to know what your own situation requires before signing a contract.
It is also important to trust the lawyer you will use because he or she will have to delve into personal information. If you don’t trust the lawyer, you will not feel comfortable with the outcome of your divorce settlement. Choosing the right attorney can determine if you gain a fair property division settlement or obtain joint legal custody for a child.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our divorce portal at http://divorce.article-mall.com/ for more great tips on divorce lawyers. While you are there don’t forget to claim your free gift.
Just What Is Marriage and Divorce ?
Marriage and divorce are too often linked together like “peas and carrots.” At one point in history, the thought of divorce was as scandalous as committing a murder. When a couple married, the notion of getting a divorce if things failed to work out was not an option.
Has the sanctity of marriage been lowered so far that when two individuals step up to the altar, they know they have a way out of it? The time honored tradition of living “till death do us part,” seems to have evolved towards the notion of “till death do us part, unless we get a divorce.”
A lack of proper communication in a marriage is viewed by some as the leading factor behind a divorce. Endless negative comments by your spouse can bring down even the happiest of individuals, leaving you feeling dejected and miserable. Overcoming negativity in a marriage can be difficult, but it is possible. Some ways to avoid negativity can be listening to a favorite song, taking a walk or reading a good book.
Spouses can help their partner overcome negativity by not taking it personally and looking for underlying causes. Using positive reinforcement, such as surrounding yourselves with positive people, spending quality time with one another, or acknowledging positive accomplishments can help break the chain of negativity. In the long run, positive conversations and attitudes can be the difference between marriage and divorce.
Ideals about marriage and divorce can also come from family history. Children of divorced mothers and fathers will often possess a fear of failing in their own marriage, especially if their parent’s divorce was wrought with hateful bickering and a lack of affection. In fact, some studies report that children coming from a broken home are twice as likely to experience divorce in their marriage.
Coming from a divorced parent makes the act itself an option in case the marriage doesn’t work out. It can often set a standard for what marriage is supposed to be like when children of a broken home decide to enter matrimony.
Before entering a marriage, it is important you talk about family origin before walking down the aisle. Ask each other about your childhood and what your parent’s relationships were like growing up. This can help clear the air between you, helping establish what you want from the marriage.
Financial strain can play a role in marriage and divorce. It is important to understand what your financial expectations are for the marriage before entering into matrimony. Ask yourselves if there is to be joint checking accounts or separate checking accounts. Find out if you both have the same saving goals and then find a happy medium if there is an inherent difference.
Looking at your personal spending habits is emphatically important before getting married because you have to understand where the money is going to go most of the time when you live under one roof. Too often we let money dictate our lives, but avoid talking about it because the topic seems too personal and invasive. But discussing the role finances will play in your marriage is as important as discussing parental roles when you decide to have children.
History’s idea of marriage and divorce is drastically different than what exists in today’s society. Over the centuries, the idea of getting a divorce if one’s marriage wasn’t working out has become somewhat automatic. Perhaps this can change with the next few generations if more emphasis is placed on the importance of communicating before and after marriage.
Getting everything out in the open before taking on the commitment of marriage can help a couple cope with the natural difficulties that arise in a relationship which is intended to last a lifetime. It can reiterate the dreams and desires that made two people want to spend their lives together in the first place, making divorce seem like a not-so-appealing option.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our divorce portal at http://divorce.article-mall.com/ for more great tips on marriage and divorce. While you are there don’t forget to claim your free gift.
Divorce Court Demeanor Matters
A family law attorney or other divorce lawyer will guide you through the rigors of divorce court. But it is important to remember to be civil when addressing your soon-to-be ex-spouse, especially when concessions are made that you dislike.
Television allows us to see the transgressions made during celebrity divorces, but in reality, the same transgressions are made in courtrooms all over the country. Being mindful of your conduct will not only make the proceedings easier for you to sit through, but it will also give your lawyer a stronger bargaining power in front of the judge.
Before entering divorce court, it is vitally important that your lawyer and you work out as many details and issues as possible with your spouse’s lawyer. This is usually performed in what is called an early settlement panel, or divorce mediation. This panel takes place in a court house and is attended by your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you and both attorneys.
Family law attorneys listen to both sides of the divorce settlement while both counselors go over property divisions, any marital debt that has accumulated and any other issues that comprise the marital settlement agreement. This process can be extremely helpful because it allows many of the issues to be settled between the couople before a judge even hears the case. In some instances, such as in divorce mediations, issues can be resolved and agreed upon without ever having to go to divorce court.
We have all seen cases on television or in the movies where couples are brought into divorce court, and in the end the “good spouse” wins. In reality, this is not so much the case. A judge has the free will to make his or her own decisions about a case, and that decision may not always be in favor of you. When proceeding with a divorce settlement, it is important to remember this fact because it will help you retain a cool demeanor in front of the judge if something is decided against you.
The most difficult time to do this, of course, is when children are involved. What a judge decides regarding child custody and visitation rights will rest on the evidence your lawyer presents and the custody laws governing your state. But often a judge makes his or her decision about joint physical custody based on their personal instincts. So it is important to enter a courtroom with an open mind and a clear outlook on how things could turn out in the end.
Your family law attorney can guide you through your time spent in divorce court. Following their lead is very important, especially if you need to speak in front of the judge. As with any other profession, common courtesy is expected in a court of law. This means always addressing the judge as “your honor,” and remembering to thank him or her for your time in front of the bench.
If you are trying to present yourself in a professional manner, remember to never make snide or condescending remarks to your spouse. This will only cause you more harm in terms of the divorce settlement. When a joint physical custody battle occurs between you and your spouse, keeping your cool can be difficult.
Never bring the children into the courtroom because it will only make things more difficult for everyone involved. Lawyers will always come prepared to court, but to help obtain all the information discussed in divorce court, take notes that will assist your attorney with the proceedings. Being prepared as possible will only benefit you, and hopefully bring about a positive outcome in the end.
Divorce court appearances can be short-lived or drawn out over months at a time. The best way to keep your proceeding relatively brief is by remaining mindful of your actions during the ordeal. Going in with the realization that a judge may not rule in your favor will help you maintain the dignity needed to make it through the settlement with a few bumps and minimal scars.
Unlike many of the celebrity divorces shown on television, divorce proceedings for average couples can be done with speed, accuracy and little bickering. Remembering the proper etiquette while following your lawyers lead will help the overall experience.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our divorce portal at http://divorce.article-mall.com/ for more great tips on divorce court matters. While you are there don’t forget to claim your free gift.